What would I do if…

I were a Big Shot TV Producer?

First, I’d buy myself a director’s chair with AWESOME on the back.

Next, I’d call a meeting and someone else would make my coffee, dark and strong, and get it right for once. (No one offers to make me coffee, ever, but even if they did, it would take some practice for them to get it right cos it looks really wrong. Some would call it mud).

I’d then announce the hottest new show for the season: The Awesome Squad. We’ve heard of blog to book so why not blog to Emmy? The concept: An international group of Awesome People (the Squad from this blog and their international associates) collate clips of strange goings on from their four corners of the globe. To stop this from becoming just another video clip show, we’d have guest appearances from our celebrity friends:

  • Mr T (advising on how to keep your bling clean),
  • George Hamilton (on how to keep your skin orange, I mean tanned in winter),
  • Chuck Norris (on how to swim through land and other physical challenges),
  • Billy Mays (on tooth whitening and bathroom bleaching techniques)

…with others to be confirmed shortly.

I’d jump on the private jet that I bought cheap thanks to some CEO of some major bank going bankrupt in The Credit Crunch and fly around picking up our Awesome Squad team for a conference that would naturally be held at a major 6 star luxury resort in Hawaii, and we’d video link our brainstorming back to a team of eager production staff in Filmsville before putting our feet up with a selection of Very Important Cocktails.

Our TV show would go into production, Finicky goes mad with the clapper board and Bunk directs. The rest of us have no trouble running (and spending) the budget because so much money is now flying at us and The Awesome Squad soon becomes a massive prime time hit on with ad seconds selling at Guinness Book of Records levels. Two shows into the first season we get a call from Bollywood saying they want to make a musical feature film called The Awesome Squad Does Bloggywood, featuring our Awesome Celebrity Associates in cameo roles. Then we’d all go for sari, dhoti and kurta fittings and eat a lot of bhajis…

I think you get the picture. It’s dangerous to give me a task like “What would I do if…” !

**Sorry no pics with this one. I couldn’t upload for some reason.


1 Response to “What would I do if…”

  1. 27 September 2008 at 1:23 AM

    I’ve been training in the mountains for 10 years in the art of clapperboarding. Let’s go with this plan!

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