What would I do if….

What would I do if the chupacabra was real? Well, first I would make a huge wall around my house, so it can’t get in. Then I’d spend the rest of my life wondering how I could manage to get outside of the wall so I could get food and check if the coast was clear. I would then wonder if chupacabras can fly, and if they can, I would think about how I would defend myself from them. I would probably hide in my basement, since I am absolutely sure that they may not be able to open doors. What if they could dig? I would ask myself. I would have to move into a secluded room in the middle of the basement, and put in a bunch of concrete walls, maybe even a concrete house. And then after all of those safety measure have been taken, I’ll remember to get my gun, which I left outside of my concrete house, out of the basement, out of my normal house, and out of the wall. I would go outside, pick up my gun, and see hundreds of hungry chupacabras staring me in the face. In the split second before they would kill me, I would wonder how it is I managed to get out of my concrete house and my giant wall. They would all leap toward me as I realize this is all a dream and wake up. Then I would walk outside, forget that I was dreaming of what life is like today, and be killed by the masses of chupacabras just waiting for innocent blood to be spilled.

All this is hypothetical of course.

Don’t worry he doesn’t bite….much.


6 Responses to “What would I do if….”

  1. 25 September 2008 at 4:46 AM

    Sit, Chupa. Paw? Good Chupa. Okay, now, here’s some peanut butter that I’m gonna stick to the roof of your mouth like this. BAD CHUPA! Now gimme back my hand like a good Chupa. Ah, that’s better.

    Yeah, g’head. You can lick up the blood… but just for that, I’m gonna get you neutered tomorrow, Chupa.

  2. 25 September 2008 at 5:43 AM

    I like this post a lot.
    Good writing.

  3. 5 spartanw0lf3
    25 September 2008 at 9:18 PM

    This was based on a true story written by me.

    Bunk-Make sure it’s a male before you get it neutered. I had a nasty experience trying to neuter a female chupa. Let me tell you it was not pretty.

  4. 29 September 2008 at 3:38 PM

    Hmm. You just gave me 53 more things (all relating to this toothy beast) to worry about. I might have to reply to one of those SPAM messages about Valium.

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